July 14, 2010

I don’t think i’ll ever find anyone like you, after all these years, and i give up, because if it’s not you it’s just not worth it.

4:43pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/812190351/i-dont-think-ill-ever-find-anyone-like-you
(No. OF NOTES: 3)
  
March 30, 2010

I sit in this hotel bar. I’m an alien, I don’t come from this part of the world, I don’t belong here. I am surrounded by sounds that do not belong here, so we are all normal. I don’t want to be normal.

I sit in this hotel bar, scared, knowing that the first sign of female attention that comes my way, I will pounce upon it. I would succomb, and relish it in all it’s glory.

I sit in this hotel bat, questioning our very existence, our relationship, oue life together, but I know my outcome doesn’t match with yours.

I sit in this hotel bar hating you, hating you and knowing I hate myself more for I know I will never have the courage to leave you. Knowing I’m so spineless, so sick and tired, why should I be the bad man again. I’m not bad, I just want to be happy. I’m not bad.

I sit in this hotel bar torn between pleasure and pain.

I sit in this hotel bar knowing I have to stand up for myself.

I sit in this hotel bar.

1:28pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/484579282/i-sit-in-this-hotel-bar-im-an-alien-i-dont

It doesn’t get any easier, it’s almost three years on and i’m no less heartbroken than the day i said goodbye, i didn’t want to leave you, but you with another girl is something i could never comprehend or justify. Seeing you two together now is such a kick in the teeth, all i think is what if? I have no doubt in my mind we’d still be together if all of this hadn’t happened, and that’s what breaks my heart the most.

1:26pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/484575713/it-doesnt-get-any-easier-its-almost-three-years
March 12, 2010

Typical of my luck, the only person who liked my last post on here, lived in Ireland. Whichever way you look at it, it’s across the sea and in a whole different country. FML.

8:08pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/444300454/typical-of-my-luck-the-only-person-who-liked-my

ffs, you’re beautiful. I know it, everyone knows, even you know it, but you keep going on about how fat and ugly you are. You are actually really fucking gorgeous. Its annoying, its like you’re wanting more attention. Its got to the point where I literally don’t know what to say, why won’t you believe me when I tell you? What am I doing wrong? I love you, just, be happy!

4:39pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/443948263/ffs-youre-beautiful-i-know-it-everyone-knows
(No. OF NOTES: 2)
  
March 11, 2010

I don’t honestly know what to do. Every single time I think things are gonna change and be different and my life will change, nothing ever changes. I meet people, I think x&y of them and I never hear from them again. They’re out there living life and I’m stuck in my own little world. It sucks. It seems like i’m not jut ‘non dating material’ but also ‘non friend material’ as well. And don’t even get me started on what happens when I fall for someone..

7:28pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/442155455/i-dont-honestly-know-what-to-do-every-single
(No. OF NOTES: 1)
  

You’re perfect for me. I’ve never used the word perfect for anyone before, but this seems like a time where I can let myself. I love you and I can’t wait for the day I get to fall asleep and wake up next you. I can’t wait until I get to say bye to you and know that I don’t have to wait another month or two to see you but just a few hours instead. I love your smile. I love that I make you smile. I’ll admit I feel guilty sometimes, like I’m wasting your time. I know you’re better than me and that you deserve better and I know I’m holding you back, but I’m too selfish to let you go. You make me really happy like happier than anyone has ever and will ever make me.


I love you.

4:49pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/441868234/youre-perfect-for-me-ive-never-used-the-word
(No. OF NOTES: 3)
  

I love my boyfriend so much but I never tell him. It’s like i’m scared to use the words. We’ve been together so long and I’m never lovey dovey with him and I don’t think I ever will be. That’s just me and he accepts me for that and that’s part of the reason I love him so much. he puts up with so much shit off me. So this is to my boy, I love you so much you cannot even imagine, my life would be nothing without you xxx

4:48pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/441866606/i-love-my-boyfriend-so-much-but-i-never-tell-him
March 8, 2010

I love your smile.
I love how your eyes close because your wide smile takes over your face.
I love the way you spike up your hair when you cut it. 
I love how we text each other funny things when we’re sitting across the room from each other.
I love that we share the best hugs in the world. 
I love looking into your eyes and seeing your soul. And knowing that you’re reading me as well.
I love how you grab my hands when I’m annoying you and just hold them while getting on with what you have to do. 

I guess I want to say: I LOVE YOU. Everything about you. And it hurts so much not being able to tell you.

6:10pm  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/435462302/i-love-your-smile-i-love-how-your-eyes-close
(No. OF NOTES: 1)
  
March 2, 2010

I think I’ve fallen in love with a boy I’ve never met. He’s so wonderful and sweet and kind and mature. I can have such great conversations with him. He tells me I’m beautiful after I’ve been crying and ill. We’re going to meet. I just know that when we meet face to face he won’t think of me the same way. I’m not some wonderful, lovely person. I’m actually shy and awkward and unnattractive and quiet and uninteresting and not very funny. I can be shallow, I’m not very smart. I am tall and skinny. I have so many flaws. I can’t hold phone conversations and I have a way of making situations awkward. I hate it. I don’t want to fuck this up but I know I probably will. I am torn between wanting to meet him and leaving it as it is. Also, what if he comes over and we can’t even talk? Or I see him and it’s super awkward. Or I don’t feel the same way about him? It’s so fucking confusing. I don’t understand why the only boy I’ve actually liked back has to be one I’ve never  even met. It embarasses me to say that the boy I’m into is one I haven’t seen face to face. It’s like, am I seriously that socially awkward that I can only converse with a boy when it isn’t face-to-face. I don’t even know

5:13am  |   URL: http://anonymousmessages.tumblr.com/post/421794921/i-think-ive-fallen-in-love-with-a-boy-ive-never
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